Tsevelee
Basic information
Interviewee ID: 990910
Name: Tsevelee
Parent's name: [blank]
Ovog: [blank]
Sex: f
Year of Birth: 1972
Ethnicity: [unknown]
Additional Information
Education: [unknown]
Notes on education:
Work:
Belief:
Born in: sum, Uvs aimag
Lives in: sum (or part of UB), Ulaanbaatar aimag
Mother's profession:
Father's profession:
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Translation:
Byambajav -
I am very glad that you have received my
inter…invitation and are taking part in this
interview.
Tsevelee -
Thank you very much.
Byambajav -
Well, I am very glad that you have received my inter…invitation and taking part in this interview.
Tsevelee -
I am also glad.
Byambajav -
Before we start the interview I should ask and clarify from you certain points.
Tsevelee -
Ok
Byambajav -
This is the following all the information contained
in your interview will be used by scholars and scientists
after ten years or hundred years from now in their research
as well as for broadcasts on radio and television,
newspapers and journals basically as source of reference in
all forms of public media by us as well. Would you allow us
to do that?
Tsevelee -
I’ll allow.
Byambajav -
Well, thank you. One more question. If you so wish
you can keep your name in secret or else you can say it
openly without concealing.
Tsevelee -
No concealing leave as it is…
Byambajav -
Well, thank you. Let’s now start the interview.
Tsevelee -
ok
Byambajav -
Аа, will you first of all introduce yourself and then tell in some details about your life.
Tsevelee -
I am called Tsevelee. I was born in 72, one thousand
nine hundred. I was born in centre (capital town)of Uvs
aimag. I am the second of 9 children. My father is a
repairman. My mother was a herder. I married in 96 and moved
to Ulaanbaatar in 99. My life is more or less satisfactory.
Of course, there is always ups and downs in one’s life. My
first child was born in ninety sev… 93, then in 2000 my
husband married another and left me. So my life was truly
hard, very difficult indeed. My life was really hard, I was
suffering together with my 4 children, so at times even the
thought to commit suicide came to my mind. It was terribly
difficult then later after a while when I moved to this
sub-district then this Asral centre was established. So I
heard that it was receiving children of the poorest families
in kindergarten. Review lessons are organized for children.
Food is served. (0-02-43) So after hearing that I came to
this monastery in October 2004. And I gave my children to
the kindergarten, I myself started attending the explanatory
lessons of Gevsh teacher, hence I began to understand what
represents the meaning of an individual’s life. So then on
30 July 2005 I got an employment here. I work as a cook. So
I came to the understanding that the teachings of Buddha are
truly essential for one’s life. Because when you are
unfamiliar with the teachings of Buddha, you encounter a lot
of discouraging moments of life. You are depressed when for
some reason your did not succeed, and feel miserable. Now,
hence I am immersed in the scriptures (under the influence
of the teachings) even moments of fear, anger and resentment
happen I can restrain myself and never wish to be angry. I
do not wish bad for any one, no harbour bad wish. If things
are bad it is because of me, therefore I think only about
good things and if I continue to nurture good intentions in
my mind then things become indeed very nice. Yeah. A person
who enjoyed true happiness, luxury and comfort in the care
of one’s mother and father after marriage when the life
becomes unbearably hard, loses courage and think of suicide
and moments of discourage occurs. What you really need at
that moment is the teachings of Buddha. That is why I am
trying not miss a lesson of my teacher and wish as many
people as possible attend the lessons. I wish those children
who are drifting outside, just playing or people loitering
around to attend the lesson, and to improve the livelihood
of at least a single person. ??? (0-04-42) I told you before
there are 9 of us. The eldest sister is living in the
countryside. Five, six of us are here (in Ulaanbaatar). Two
of my younger siblings, three in all are in a sense are
students. Yes??? Though they are students they also attend
the lessons (on Buddhist teachings), my fifth younger
brother is a terribly aggressive child. His temper flares up
suddenly. Then since last Autumn he has been attending the
teacher’s lessons. Now, he has become different. He says
sister Tsevelee I am changing myself. (0-05-12) Previously I
used to be very angry, quick tempered and whenever I saw
your four children I became angry, scolded and beat them.
Now I hold back myself, now I always tell them you are my
younger brothers you should not do this or that. So as you
can see Buddhist religion is really useful in men’s life.
And now my children also attend the lessons for the
children. Two of them receive meals, one is attending the
school, he also attended English language course last
summer. In the evening we all sit down and I recite in the
evening hymn to Buddha…we all pray and recite the hymns. I
recite “Itgel” (refuge), hymns of goddess Green Tara all of
them. After that all children sit in meditation.
Occasionally some of them do disturb, then I would say to
the one “You are not going to grow up as a good man. For
what previous deed of mine you were born to me. You are
indeed the fruit of my actions (in previous life)” then the
child will calm down. Therefore, I think it (teaching) is
very important for that very reason I say it to them. My son
came back saying mother I defended my friend and fought with
child of a stranger. So I said how it happened sonny you are
attending lessons of Buddha. Why did you enter into fight?
When that boy was teasing your friend that “he is bowlegged,
his hair is cut and it was impossible to say whether he was
a boy or girl. Why did you not explain and tell him, can’t
you see who is he, a boy or girl, have you good eye sight.
Why did you fight that boy. You should have explained him.”
Yesterday my son said: yes, I should have explained, I must
have done that. I tell him my son you should avoid as much
as possible from fight and brawls and try to reason your
friends. Otherwise what is use of you going to the lessons
of the teacher. He says, yes I must have done that. (laughs)
Yeah. It is useful. Since my husband left us in the
beginning when we have not yet became devotees of Buddhist
teaching, we all terribly hated him. You have left me with
my four children. (0-07-16) You brought upon us these
sufferings you will…also suffer. We’ll see how you will
suffer and hated him awfully. This was the thought I had in
my mind. Now, since I became a devotee I stopped that.
Because, the poor man is born as a human in this world why
should he be suffering together with us, let him pursue his
happiness, at least a person finds his happiness. If all
living beings which is the six beginning (causes) of
everything should enjoy happiness let him enjoy that
happiness I thought. We now do not suffer and experience
difficulties at all. Because after we started attending the
lessons (on scriptures) every one is enjoying peace of mind
and tranquillity. We all have been able to change for the
better. My children hated their father, I also hated my
husband but now the hatred is a thing of the past. So we
wish him good and if we are able help him, if not what can
we do. So I think if he can take care of himself and is
content let it be. My children want to become lamas. My
child (laughs) a daughter also thinks that way. After we met
our teachers the children’s thinking have changed, it has
become very nice. My 9 old child, he will reach 9…yesterday,
we had no coal, it was over. Even during day the ger was
very cold, I instructed him to copy down a subject five
times and learn it by heart beforte I come back and sent
home. He said: “It was very cold and I copied the lesson
only once. Because of the cold I couldn’t finish my
lesson….???” (0-08-44) Since it was very cold in the ger we
all went into our beds and recited the book, It was cold.
After recital we meditated, but he continued to sit alone in
meditation. I asked what happened he said I’ll meditate for
five days until the start of new term and wearing warm
clothes he continued to sit in meditation. What can I do we
are all in the bed because it was too cold why are you
sitting like this I said. He said when you meditate this way
you don’t feel cold at all (laughs) so he continued.
Therefore, human spirit is truly marvellous. In such a cold
ger a nine old boy was sitting in this manner meditating.
(0-09-13) I said because of cold we are all in bed, sonny
get into your bed. He said I don’t feel cold, I am
meditating. I’ll meditate in this manner for five days. The
reason why he did that was the following I told him my son
you are not learning the books (not doing good at his
studies). He was saying why I am not learning, shall I try
meditating for a few days. Then I said if you do that you
will become an excellent student. So he decided to meditate.
He meditated day before yesterday, yesterday…two days before
that. And apparently some intention came to his mind.
Yesterday, he said that he will meditate every evening. Even
I said it was cold in the ger get into bed he was still
meditating. So Buddhist learning is really different. That
is how we are doing under the protection of our teachers,
before this our life was very difficult. We had no food. My
husband used to come back once in two three days, he would
give a thousand tugrugs and he leaves. In the mid of winter
frost we had no firewood nor coal. I was still carrying my
youngest child. In that extremely difficult situation I was
unable to go out and work. Even so I was herding the sheep
of others on pasture, milked cows in Shadavlin. I was
pregnant my belly got huge but still looked after sheep
herd, riding horse travelled up and down mountains, when I
came back home in the evening my 7 year old daughter have
meals prepared and swept clean the home. Imagine how we can
have enough to eat for three days spending just one thousand
tugrugs, how about firewood and coal. We had to look after
something to burn in the cold of the winter so we living in
a very difficult situation. Then I started attending lessons
on Buddha that changed my mind set if your fate is…right
what do they say. If your intentions are right then the fate
will be right they say. Though I have been through
sufferings and difficulties I did not complain against my
husband. At times I thought probably I was a fool. Because
when this man was doing such bad things to me I harboured no
grudge against him. But since I was person with right
intention, in turn I met my teacher, came to the scripts and
my live has been completely changed.(0-11-09) Living in such
difficult condition if my hatred was getting deeper and
deeper I would not have been like this today. Even sometimes
I thought about him what can I do this poor man is suffering
more than me. ??? (0-11-23) What will happen to those
without a cover over their heads, those living in under
ground canalization systems without food and drink, and who
are suffering more than me. I am much better off than they
are. I have a shelter, then food. At least I have my
children with me. I should make them equals to men, make
them men. That will be enough. That time I was terribly ill
so, I wanted to remain alive until my youngest child to
reach 18. If I could put on their feet the elder sisters of
her they will take care of the younger siblings. I shall
make out of my only son a lama. Otherwise, since his father
is such a person, he might follow his footsteps was my
thought. That is why I am trying to bring them closer to the
teachings of Buddha, now my 4 year old daughter knows by
heart the prayers “megzem” and constantly recites them. She
can not count how many times she recited, when we recite the
tarni (dharani, mantra) of the God Janraisag “Om mani badme
hum”, I recite ??? (0-12-15),and my daughter recites after
me. Then she recites sometimes too rapidly or very slowly so
my younger brother keep the count, when it reaches 108 we
say that is enough. But she recites (laughs)
again.???(0-12-26) so I would let her continue for it is the
scripture of Buddha…in general our life good. Now, I don’t
have much worries. People say that te salary I receive is
more or less enough. As for me my salary is exactly what I
need. Last autumn I received a loan from the centre and
erected the fence, received firewood and coal in assistance.
And then I receive assistance from various…. organizations
and with my salary I can manage, I am determined that my
children receive good education, one child is attending IQ
courses, the other participated in Olympiads, thus things
are running more or less smoothly. (0-13-03) That is why I
am content and in high spirits, in addition to it there is
the support of my teachers. When the teachers praise my
children “Oh your children are excellent students. How
wonderful it is, children-you are doing good” they are also
encouraged. One is attending IQ course, another one in the
first grade is not doing that well. But lately he is
meditating so forth and so on, most importantly he is
receiving moral support. My child always prays for the
wellbeing of all living beings he apparently can not learn
by heart the words “эх болсон зургаан зүйлийн хамаг амьтан”
(Six beginnings /causes/ and all living beings?). So I told
to my children to pray for the wellbeing of all living
beings and they pray for that. Even we live in the city it
was only before this lunar new year that we received the
electricity. We have no TV set. I gave to sister Badmaa for
repair the TV set, she brought it back today. Then since we
don’t have TV we pray and chant scriptures of Buddha.
Children do their lessons. Then they occasionally play. If
they become too noisy I scold them but they don’t run after
one another and raise a lot of noise. After playing 5 to 10
minutes they sit and do their lessons, if they want to sing
we all sing prayers (megzem) together instead of singing
various other songs, we think singing these prayers will
relieve many other people from their sufferings. We believe
that instead of singing various songs it is better for all
of us to chant or sing prayers this way at least a person
will be saved from the suffering. My 4 year old daughter
until she learned prayer by heart terribly mixed it. So one
day I reproached her. And I said if you don’t learn this
prayer in three days you will never again sleep together
with me and she soon learned it by heart. Then I told about
it to sister Otgoo. I made her to learn by heart the prayer
by saying so and so. Then she said “You should not make the
child to learn out of fear. She was afraid that is why she
learned it quickly.” I don’t think so. If they do not obey
??? (0-14-43) my words, then I have sometimes use strong
expressions. Such as well, if you do not do this my children
you will never become a good person etc., they would quickly
grasp the idea.(0-14-53) So she was probably not frightened.
Day before yesterday she again did not listen me, when all
of us were meditating and reciting the book she was
giggling. So I scolded her and said well, well, you are not
going to be a good person. One thing that really frightens
her, as she the youngest one, when I say that I’ll never
sleep together with her. She immediately obeys me. Yesterday
I noticed that she was behaving very good and stopped
giggling. She was saying I’ll now never giggle (during
prayer). I understood she said. (laughs) That is why I think
that my way of educating is probably right. I am trying to
give them as good as possible education. The dream of my
eldest daughter is to become a model (mannequin) or person
of that kind. Or she wants to become …??? (0-15-34). The
second one wanted to be a doctor. Then we met the teacher,
she saw him… But now she says I would like to be a nun.
(laughs) I tell them my children you can try either of them,
but when grow up gradually you have to choose your
profession. The third one wanted to be a lama. In the
beginning when he was not attending religious lessons and
did not understand the meaning of Buddhist religion he
thought that lamas go around, visit different families
recite and chant books and receive donations or alms for
that (not book as in the text). This was what he thought.
I’ll become a very rich lama, visit families and receive
money he used to tell. I would say no my son, you should not
talk like this, don’t you see my teacher, he chants books,
teaches children thus he is saving many people from their
sufferings. Why don’t you do the same thing however, now he
understands. At first he used to say “I’ll become a lama go
around and recite books” (laughs) If I had not attended
lessons on scriptures probably I would also have the same
mentality just like the child that ??? (0-16-35 ) and
probably send him to Gandan and he’d become a lama who would
be going around chanting prayers without comprehending
deeply the religion…Only after working here I came to know
that there is the philosophy Buddhist religion and how
thanks to it man’s life can be changed for the good, before
I had no idea about it. (0-16-55) Now, our Mongols say I
visited one monastery and ordered recital of a book. Well,
now my wind horse and spirit will soar up high. The god of
profit of my trade will do this or that. My fortune will
come, they say. I was also one of them. Then I came here
attended the lessons of my teacher, took note of everything
he said and carefully read them. So by attending the lessons
of the teacher you understands the meaning of the Buddhist
religion, therefore I recite the books. If did not come
here, if I did not meet my teacher and the scriptures here,
I would have trained a lama who recites the books only and
would be content with that. But when you attend the lessons
here you see the difference. So I intend to send my children
to these lessons without interruption. I can’t bring here my
child who is only 4 years old, she is too young, isn’t she?
When she will be 5, 6 may be 7 or 8… I’ll bring her to
attend the lessons of my teacher. Until then I’ll be
attending the congregation of the fifteenth and reciting
prayers. My children are fond of religious books
(scriptures). So my children are the children of scriptures,
the teacher has left in December. Recently the children came
to their lessons. And… they were all asking when the
teachers were coming back. They attended the lessons and got
some understanding, therefore they missed their teacher,
asked why the teacher was not coming. The children are very
interested in these lessons. Children of our sub-district,
children from other sub-districts, as well as children of my
son-in-laws come to the lessons. They all attend Saturday
lesson and the Sunday lessons, all them run around here. I
consider that meeting the scriptures was my great luck.
First sister Otgoo visited families in ger district and told
that there is a nice kindergarten. And asked whether I want
to give my child, and told me that she wanted to enlist my
youngest child in the kindergarten. But my child has liver
problem. So she attended the kindergarten for sometime last
year and had to leave, this year she went but also had to
take leave unable continue to attend the kindergarten. I
hope she will be better by next year. If she is better I’ll
send her (to kindergarten). She bleeds from her nose and
therefore she can’t attend the kindergarten. (0-18-52)
Because she has become too active and lively. She says it
was wonderful in the kindergarten. Asked why she told me
they have statue of Buddha, seated on the special platform
for the Buddha. My son who is the third child elder brother
of the daughter attended the kindergarten last spring for
three or four months. He told me that in the morning when
they gather they all pray to the Buddha before taking their
seats. Then during the day they play in Buddha and pray to
each other and they enjoy that immensely. So even in the
kindergarten a number of children are studying teachings of
Buddha and getting some knowledge. I know that they have
seen our folders and are learning all the maani and megzem
(prayers). Yes. So my son told me, it is wonderful Mammy. We
in the morning all pray to the Buddha and play Buddha and
his disciples. So the activities of our centre ??? (0-19-41)
penetrate deeply into life of people, and we do that, we
seek and find ourselves, provide assistance to the poor, may
be not very poor but families with limited possibilities,
such as families with many children, in coal and firewood,
food and clothing. For example sister Otgoo tells me see
what families are living in your vicinity and study their
life. And when you watch it is clearly seen who is short of
something, who has many children or many people live in one
ger. So we try to be of genuine help to those who are
working hard for their livelihood, to enlist them into the
rank believers of Buddha, explain them meaning of the
teachings. But as people say that the time has not arrived,
some people would not come to the lessons on teachings that
is the difficulty we encounter. My husband is the eldest of
eight children so I implore my father and mother in-laws as
well as brothers and sisters in-laws, there will be chanting
of such nice book, please come once. And plead them, will
you. Apparently the time has not arrived and some of the do
not come. Some do attend. My younger siblings attended the
congregation of “Goddess Green Tara” and spent the night in
congregation and they were marvelled. It is so wonderful
they said. Yeah. People who had the real taste of scriptures
are completely different. (0-20-51) I would like to mention
one thing last year we rented a ger from one family. A year
before I gave an application to the chairman of the
sub-district requesting to give me a ger, a whole year has
passed. I had no ger at all. It was just like that. Two
months passed since I started attending the lessons on
scriptures. The time of congregation of the Goddess Green
Tara came, I was told that we’ll spend the night in
congregation, so came and spent the night there. Apparently
at that time I displayed deep devotion and faith. After
spending the night in of congregation of Goddess Green Tara
I came back home and was resting when sister Otgoo came
running told me to take 20 bag of coal, so we received it.
After they gave us the coal the next day was the 25th of the
first winter month (зулын 25). Then suddenly people with
vehicles came in and they brought us two bags of flour,
rice, coal and firewood, awfully lot of them. They said they
were coming from “Oyuny Undraa” (Source of wisdom) company.
We are giving assistance to families with hard life, your
name was given to us from your sub-district. What can I do,
how wonderful it is. And I prayed to my teacher the Buddha.
Oh, how wonderful is the scriptures of Buddha. I am, the one
who attended lessons on scriptures only for a month or two.
I was happy how nice it is to have genuine faith and
devotion and keep your mind right, then another surprise was
to come. Suddenly I was told that I was summoned at the
office of the sub-district. I came running to the office
then they told me to go the welfare centre. When I came
there I was told you will receive a ger, come tomorrow. Then
what do I do, it was only two months after I began attending
lessons on scriptures, apparently my faith and devotion were
so strong. I was waiting for the ger a for whole year, so
only after 2 months since I started studying scriptures I
got a ger and was overjoyed. They gave me a beautiful ger
with double layer of covering and wooden floor. So my
children are snow living a very warm ger. We now don’t feel
the cold and feeling very good. Before whenever, I had some
pain or illness at such times I was thinking only about
myself… I was such a person but recently for a few days I
had terrible tooth ache. So I thought well, my tooth ache is
nothing. There are many who are suffering much more than me,
there are awfully many people lying on hospital beds or
somewhere else suffering from pain. (0-22-54) Yeah. I was
praying to my god let the pains of those people come to me,
I was thinking about it even during my recitals. I am not
alone, numerous people are suffering let the their
sufferings come to me and prayed for them. And when I
finished reciting the book the terrible pain that was
tormenting had subsided. And I was high in spirit and
peaceful at mind. I was surprised. Can it be that I prayed
and therefore I was feeling good, completely cured. Then the
tooth pain comes again, when it happened I prayed and in
praying I was not thinking only of myself, it is not myself
alone who had this suffering. Isn’t it? There are people
without shelter, without food in addition to that who are
ill and suffering from pain but because they don’t have
money are unable to get treatment and I said to myself I
pray for them. A person understands anguish of others only
when that person encounters it personally. Otherwise no one
will understand it. So when I experience suffering, I think
well, now I am suffering. Except me who else, who have no
parents or sisters and brothers to take care of them are
encountering great sufferings? I’ll pray for that person. So
I pray to my Buddha, recite my books, and seek the salvage
of my teachers, after performing these rites I feel much
better and mentally pacified, it happens. I also pray that
let the causes ripen and let the people come to the
scriptures. ??? (0-24-16) So we all pray to the Buddha every
morning, sister Otgoo and me …we all pray. We 35 times
perform kow tow. In doing so we pray for the good of every
living being, in my prayers I wish that by performing this
ritual I help at least one person to get rid of the
sufferings. I hope they are getting rid of their
sufferings.(laughs) As for me when I have awful pain I sit
down, pray and recite scriptures and when get up I feel
complete difference. And when you think that this also
happened to others you feel the real difference. This
happens when you pray and prostrate before Buddha, recite
scriptures, maani and tarni. Unfortunately, previously I got
angry and beat my children, but now never again this
happens. (0-24-58) I tell them, what shall I do with my
children, because of what fruit of my deeds you are behaving
like this? Apparently this is the fruit of my deed because
of that you do not let me… recite the book. Or when we are
now living much better due to what fruit of my action you
are not doing your lessons, and make your mother to scream
at you or you are fighting each other. There is something
and when you explain them this way the children get it very
seriously. Then when I was reciting the book if some of them
wrestle behind me the other would come and say why are your
tormenting the mother. What harm did the mother do to you.
Then the other would become silent. Therefore, I sometimes
think how I would have behaved if I did not attend lessons
on scriptures. Before that I would have rushed to them beat
or scolded them, they would weep and what a scream and yells
would have risen. Now, I’ll never do that. I’ll say well,
you are really testing my patience and sit back immediately.
This is very nice, yeah, there is nothing better for a
family than being together. Our three children all go to
schools…in fourth, third and first grades. So my three
children all come and sit together so they understand very
well my explanations. My son is awfully energetic and he had
never obeyed anyone, it was before but now since he attended
lessons on scripture he has calmed down. He sits calmly and
make his lessons and listens carefully to the words of
others, now he is rather keen on his meditation. I told him
that he will see its result after ten years, when the time
of his graduation exams comes if he will meditate a few days
before the exams, all the lessons he learnt from September
first will be embedded in his mind (head). So you can pass
your exams with excellence. Then he said I’ll do it, from
now on I’ll meditate, mediate and pray to the Buddha, if I
attend my class during day and back home, in evening, I will
meditate over the days events then they will be stored in my
mind and will never disappear. (0-26-53) So when he said
this I encouraged him and was very happy. And then even a
child he from now sits in a manner of Buddha, in cross
legged position. Child’s legs are very nice and flexible and
he can sit exactly the same manner (as the Buddha). They all
sit in this manner. The soles their feet are turned upward.
I tell them my children sit this way from now on, if not
when you grow up it will be impossible for you to sit this
way. That is why they are sitting in this manner from now.
If they do not do it…once they grow up their legs will never
be so flexible. Basically if he learns to sit this way, when
he grows up and becomes a lama it will be easy for him to
sit freely in way. When they sit cross legged the soles of
their feet are beautifully turned upwards (in lotus
position). So while still their legs are flexible it is
better to teach them as early as possible to sit cross
legged, and when meditate at least they can sit steadily. My
son was awfully naughty child. My son, who was a dangerous
child, has now become very calm. So that evening not knowing
(laughs) how to call Monday, what he could think of and
said, was Mummy I’ll meditate and then go to the school.
Recently he got a chicken pox and spent 5 days at home. So
he was saying Mummy I will meditate for 5 days and then go
to the school. If I do that certainly I’ll become an
excellent student he was saying. The child will attend the
lessons on scriptures tomorrow. On every Sunday at 2 p.m. he
comes to the lesson on scriptures. Children always hurry and
run to the lesson. Even I before taking up the job here and
was engaged in various odd jobs, I took up different jobs at
the market and was also engaged in trading activities, so
when Saturday and Sunday arrived I was always in hurry and
panicked not to be late for the scripture lesson…a person
becomes such a devotee. Yeah.(0-28-24) So I would come
running in a hurry. And if it happens that due to unforeseen
engagement I can’t attend the lesson…I thought how difficult
it was and that it was my unlucky fate, I had no fortune to
attend the scripture lesson. But sister Otgoo told me that I
should not say such things.(laughs) You should not think
that you don’t have the fortune. Simply you should have the
determination to attend the lessons, strongly wish then by
itself your attendance will be secured. I consider my
working here as the greatest luck of mine. Because in spring
I was standing at market receiving fifty tugrugs only, yes,
I did that for some time. I also sold vegetables. But when
you are trading you have to lie. For example in order to
sell your vegetables and if some of it are of poor quality
you say the vegetables are good and blend them with good
ones and sell them as good vegetables. This means you are
actually committing a sin. So I gave the slips of 50 tugrugs
to the buyers, if someone will not take the slip I’d be
happy and collect them. That was also a sin. There is no
difference between stealing and taking the slip. So it was
an awful sin. So I thought, though, I attend lessons on
Buddhist scriptures I was taking these 50 tugrugs. And I
suffered awfully for doing that. What shall I do, I am
committing too much sins however, I continued to receive and
consume. (0-29-30) Then I fell ill and quit the job. And
getting employment here was truly a great luck. (laughs) If
I continued to stand at the market and collected that very
50 tugrugs then the 50 will be accumulated and will reach a
frightening amount. Then my sin will become really
unbearable burden thus I would have become an immeasurable
sinner. I came here because the fruits of my bad actions in
previous life were exhausted…I met good deeds such as the
scriptures and the teacher and thanks to their blessings I
am now coking foods for my teachers and feeding
(disadvantaged) children. This is the blessings of this
opportunity and the scriptures. If I did not come to the
scriptures I would have been at the market and selling
something lying and cheating. Yeah. And I would have been
happy if someone gave extra money stealing in that way…that
would mean stealing in fact. And I would have been stingy
about that money. It would have been going on like this. I
don’t know by what luck I left that job after only two,
three months…So I was always in hurry and rushing to attend
the lessons on scriptures. We live almost on the top of a
hill (mountain in the text). Sister Otgoo was coming to me
and met me on her way she said Munguu wants to see you. I
was going to you and when I came running I was told to be
the cook.(0-30-34) I thought what will happen can I do it.
Actually I am a cook by profession as well as an accountant.
Well, can I be a cook, can I prepare the meals of the
teachers…and most importantly, I was very afraid. Therefore,
I did err a lot. That is why I was afraid very much from the
teachers. Then people told me that a person is frightened
because of the bad deeds of one’s previous life, fright
emanates from there. Even I prepared very a nice meal I was
afraid what the teachers will say about it. And when the
teacher eats the prepared meal and seems to be happy, if he
smiles and talks then I felt really good at heart. If the
teacher kept silence and looked not that satisfied I was
afraid and thought what shall I now do. However, I am
getting over it now. When you do something from the bottom
of heart you usually get a very good result. Isn’t it? In
the beginning I was afraid, and trembled on the thought what
might happen. Now I earnestly try to cook something very
nice for the meal. And I am also very happy that I met my
teachers.(laughs) Life is truly wonderful. Oh, there is
nothing better than meeting with the teacher. (laughs) My
children all attend the lessons…When there is the lesson for
all age groups, grand mothers come in the morning in a hurry
asking am I late, in general they all come almost running.
During the congregation of Goddess Green Tara we chant books
from 7 p.m. to 7 a.m. or until the dawn. Grand mothers who
are over seventy and eighty sit in congregation through all
the recital. They sit there no matter what some of them even
dose off , wake up and then resume reciting…all of them
pray, the power of scriptures is indeed magnificent. They
say you are indeed a blessed child. We…the grandmothers will
rejoice together with you in this congregation. So we spend
the whole night chanting the book (scripture). Last year
when I was busy I did miss once or twice the congregation of
Green Tara. So from this year I am attending the lessons on
scriptures without interruption to salvage at least a person
from suffering, and after all human beings are not eternal,
aren’t they? That is why I think while I am alive today, I
should do something for the others, do at least good deed
for the rest. So if I’ll have time I am going to attend the
lessons without interruption. In the morning when I come to
my work I always recite Itgel (refuge), then there is the
Yazguuryn three, 7 Buddha (the original 3 or 7 Buddha?) I
recite all the tarnis (daharani or mantra) of them, at the
end I recite zoriulgaa and Bazjarsad until I arrive at the
office. I awfully resent walking together with others.
Because if I were to walk with somebody I can’t recite those
tarnis of mine and can’t perform that small bit of merit. So
as much as possible I walk alone and recite the tarnis and
recite them in evening as well. During the day while I am
washing dishes, I sang and chant at least a bit of the
megzem (prayers) (0-33-00) In the evening I read the
scriptures. If I can’t perform these rituals, I am mentally
upset and think what will happen I couldn’t recite the
books. At times I am overcome by laziness. Then I think if
due to my laziness I’ll go into my bed without reciting
maani or tarnis and if in the morning they find me dead what
will happen. I can’t do a single good merit. Therefore,
today I should recite at least something before sleep. So
when you go to bed after reciting the books I sleep calmly
without any worries. Even if I die if I could salvage a
person from sufferings then I could fulfil at least a bit of
my whish… After all human sufferings are hard, aren’t they?
???? (0-33-49) When you feel that you did something to
relieve that suffering (of others), it is highly satisfying.
(laughs) I feel mentally upbeat whenever I see my teachers
and my feelings of reverence upsurge. Yeah. It is wonderful.
When you look at Rinbouchi teacher, the appearance of this
learned man is so serene and peaceful, yeah, he looks around
in a terribly magnificent way. So you venerate and pray as
he passes by. When I see the Gevsh teacher I am somewhat
intimidated by him.(laughs) Bit afraid of him, otherwise I
am a rather cheerful person, evidently I am still not a very
experienced cook. Therefore, whenever, I cook meal I am
afraid that I might prepare something bad. But our teacher
is not a very strict and demanding person. I am afraid of
the meals which I prepared myself, afraid what if I cooked a
nasty food. Otherwise, there is nothing to be afraid of.
When the teacher is delivering his sermons or conducting his
lessons it is truly breathtaking and admirable. In March of
2005, oh no in January 2001 teacher has left just after the
Tsagaan sar (Lunar new year) He went to attend to a
discourse by the Dalai lama, teacher Dalai lama. So when he
returned in March those grandmothers who were present at his
lessons were looking at our teacher and tears were running
down their faces. (0-34-57) How wonderful, it is to see our
teacher they were saying. Probably, the same will happen
when he comes back. When the teacher is not here we all miss
him, everyone asks when he is coming back, isn’t it the time
the teacher should arrive. This is how people revere and
worship him. With a goal set before you, in general, life by
itself improves and thrives, I have seen it. If I had not
set that goal and if I had worshipped Buddha, or met my
teacher and the scriptures my life would have been truly
hard. Probably I could not get rid of it hardship. Yeah.
That was real hard. When I recollect back that period, I
think what a hard life it was and marvel how I managed to
stay alive. I was striving hard to bring up my four children
to be equals of men and with this thought in mind I met the
scriptures. Now, I have no concerns. If I repay the kindness
of my teachers, have faith in scriptures and worship then no
matter what we can carry on our livelihood further. I
receive a salary of 50,000. In addition, there comes
children’s allowance of 12,000. So I can anyway take care of
my children, Yeah. My children attend lessons on scriptures.
They are happy, during the summer there is the English
language training course. Two of them will attend the
English language training. Probably, my youngest will also
attend the English language class. Learning foreign language
is important. We have constant contacts in winter and summer
with our teachers, this means it is the fruits of good
merits in my pervious life, otherwise there is nothing
special I did. So I read and chant the books that my teacher
taught and know what I should do, so it is nice…in general
my life is flourishing as much as it could flourish. I have
no concerns at all. Sometimes my husband comes drunk. When
it happened… even before I didn’t get angry. I am actually
such a strange person who has no anger. Even if I was angry
I always found some convenient excuses to see him off
amicably. When he comes angry, on such occasions if I were
to utter a word he demolishes everything in the ger.
(0-36-51) So generally I try to let him go without saying
anything. On the first day of Tsagaan sar (Lunar new year)
he came to our ger and smashed all the frames for
photographs, threw on the floor the TV set, overturned the
platter (decorated for the new with fried pastries and dairy
products), tore into pieces all the photographs of my father
and mother, brothers and sisters. So after that he left. I
don’t remember now what I thought at that moment. I was
silent hoping that he would leave soon at last. So I wish
him the end of his bad deeds and let him enjoy good life and
live happily. If I were to hate that man that hatred will
come back to me, and my life will never improve. My children
had found out that he was not really suffering very much and
tell me about it sometimes. The grandparents of my children
(on father’s side) live nearby. They tell the children your
father did that or this. If he hears something that hurts
his feelings towards us at times…terrifying…he, I don’t know
what, apparently becomes rather scornful or something else.
Yeah. This is what he does. So I plead them don’t say
anything like that, my children you should only wish good to
your father they agree and say yes, yes we’ll do that. No
matter how much you want to subdue there is always the seeds
of bad intention in human mind ready to sprout. At such
times to follow the dictum that a person who attended
lessons on scriptures should restrain yourself. You should
wish everything good to that person (who hurts you) and even
knowing it to wish that person good is truly difficult for
small children. However, they do wish good to him. Then they
say father did this, why he should do that. I would plead
don’t my children, you shouldn’t they agree yes Mammy. 12,
13 years old children feel really very fragile and easily
hurt. If their grand parents tell them your father doing
really good and he is happy and joyful over there then the
children would say when we have no clothes no wear and no
food to eat our father did not bring us anything at all. The
reason they think that way is that their father gives
awfully lot of promises. He came before the children’s
holiday and said during the holiday your father will take
you to children’s park. I’ll dress up you so that the eyes
of people around you pop up(0-39-02) and I’ll take you to
the park he said so and left. Then nothing happens. On
national holiday he comes and repeats that promise. On the
eve of the new year he repeats it again. But he never showed
up on those occasions. When such thing happens after all a
person makes certain conclusions. Recently, before the new
year he came and repeated the same thing so my daughter said
father any way we are not going to celebrate the new year.
He said your father will come and buy you…plenty of nice
things. I’ll bring you beautiful clothes at that time my
daughter was very ill. She was in bed with high temperature.
She said: “Father, any way we are not going to celebrate the
new year. Don’t be bothered. You can just leave without
uttering a word.” Then he said, no, no your father will
bring presents for you. Then, after all, there is such a
thing as losing the confidence of children. I tried to
comfort them saying well, well, your father, in any way, can
not succeed, but when he becomes rich he will, probably,
bring you what he promised.(laughs) Thus I tried to comfort
and raise their spirits. Otherwise, children are children
after all. Yeah. They trust him awfully. When he comes, he
kisses, displays affection towards them your father will do
this and that for you so the children awfully trust him.
Then the day comes but he disappears without a word, so it
is very difficult for them. Now, I tell them I was told that
your father in debt. My children your father will come when
gets rich. So don’t think anything bad about him. Even so
they would say father himself told so and wait for him, that
is awfully difficult. Then comes the day and they wait for
him, they wait for him for whole day hoping that he will
show up. Even a day before he promised they’ll expect him to
come. Therefore, we usually decide celebrate the occasions
with whatever small things we have and pass the time in
smiles and friendly noises. No matter how much you learn
scriptures enlightenment comes very hard, it is said that a
man enlightens only after forty years of study of
scriptures. Since we are attending lessons on book only for
one or two years, enlightenment would not come so easily. So
what I do is try to embed in their mind a certain attitude
little by little, that is to say teach them to see the good
even in bad things and think about it in such way. Of
course, I can’t say we’ll become enlightened overnight. My
children should be thinking only about good, no matter what
bad deeds their father committed, however, my children are
now already not blaming him. (0-41-09) If we succeed in
doing this some time in future everything will be nice.
We’ll become good persons. My prime aim is to make them all
well educated and intelligent people. Then I’ll pursue my
studies of the scriptures, at the end I’ll think only of
myself ??? (0-41-26) (laughs) Two of my children want to be
lamas, if they become lamas let it be. I’ll make my only son
a lama, it is certain. When the teacher comes back I’ll talk
to him about my will to make the only son of mine a lama. So
the teacher will decide the future of my son. Then since the
other three are girls, they will somehow can make their own
living. Now, I observe that many people are coming to our
centre. They give us moral, substantial material and in
general, all around support. However, there is a drawback
among our people, there are those with feed-me mentality and
with the desire to receive assistance all the time. With
regard to this aspect our staff explain them and try to
infuse the understanding, we’ll help you but you should
yourself have the determination to succeed. That will lift
you up and carry on further. There are many people who have
succeeded, which is really wonderful. When people are only
receiving assistance… it is not that pleasing. So our
teacher tell them, sister Otgoo and others tell them, you
should change your frame of mind a little bit and attend the
lessons on scriptures, at least several times. We even plead
them to attend the lessons, bring them to the lessons. Then
those who are wise and whose time to meet the scriptures
have come, become devotees and attend the lessons and their
life improve, there are many such people. The most important
thing is…to spread among the people…I now think…We are from
far away western aimag, yeah, Uvs. I want to establish
contacts with the lamas of the monastery in aimag centre and
inform them that there is such a nice centre of ours. Please
come and meet our teachers and conduct exactly the same
activities, organize explanatory lessons on Buddhism in your
aimag centre. This is what I wanted to tell them but until
now I was not able to establish a contact them. I am busy at
my work and have no time. If that could be done at least at
one other place and lessons on living skills were taught it
would be of great help in improving the living standards of
people, I even wish that such lessons were taught not just
in our sub-districts for the residents living in the
vicinity but everywhere. Yeah. (0-42-17) If we could make
such a change of mind nationwide the life every body will
become much better. Yes. This is what I keep in my mind.
Well, at least at one place to begin the lesson…(laughs) It
would have been wonderful if there were centres like ours in
every aimag. I was thinking about this since last year, a
year passed but I was unable realize it. Recently I told
about it to one person. I work for such an organization, our
centre conducts such activities. Will you find out who is
the Khamba lama of our aimag monastery, I need the telephone
number of that lama. The man said that on return he will
tell about it to him and asked for my address. If he (the
khamba) comes it would be great to have at least one more
centre established in a place and spread the blessings(of
scriptures). I dream that it would have been wonderful if
such explanatory lessons on Buddhist religion were taught
everywhere, and everyone understand, appreciate and
implement the teachings in their life. As for us since we
are now connected with them we shall continue in this manner
nicely. That is why it would have been satisfying if we
could conduct such activities in every aimag. This is my
dream. So I harbour the desire to conduct these lessons.
Byambajav -
Aan hm. How many times do you prepare meals in a day, as usual?
Tsevelee -
In a day? I serve two meals in a day. At 12 noon I
serve the meal for the children. I prepare meals for 25, if
someone will not come for 23, 24 children, the number
fluctuates. I serve them tea, meals, steamed or ordinary
bread. Meals are different. The menu of the meals…is
different from day to day. At 1 o’clock those attending
tailoring course take their meal. Then I prepare the food of
our staff. In summer from July to September Rinbouchi
teacher is present. Foreigners also come. During this period
I serve luncheon at one o’clock and supper at six. At one I
serve one second course (fried or steamed dish)luncheon. At
six I serve the supper. On Sundays I have a day off. Lately,
I am unable to attend the Sunday lessons. I feel very
leisurely because I am resting. (0-45-16) Earlier when I was
not working here, I earnestly tried not to miss a single
lesson but now that is not the case. I am saying to myself
let’s have a nice rest. But now I think that even it is the
day off I shall come to lessons of my teacher and leave for
my home. Otherwise it is not very polite as if I now
understand all those nice books or behaving badly and with
disrespect. I feel ashamed(laughs) for not attending the
lessons. It is disgusting, to rest at home because that is
the day off. In fact I have a lot of wok at home. But I
should find an hour or two to attend the lesson before I go
home. It is nothing. Yeah. At that 2 o’clock I would be
engaged in washing at home. Instead of that if I come to the
lessons of my teacher I would understand something new over
here. Then I could do the washing in the evening. I am
thinking about it. I missed quite a few lessons given by my
teacher. Now, I’ll make every effort not to skip the
lessons.(laughs) I was skipping the lessons as if I am a
perfect person. Now, I’ll never skip a lesson. It is
wonderful when a person becomes a devotee of Buddhist
scriptures. My younger brother told me I’ll give you money,
trade at the market or else you can open a grocery shop. I
told him that I‘ll never again take up that job. That
trading is really a job of sinners(laughs) and refused. When
a person sees (has) money he becomes addicted to it. So in
order to get some extra money that person will sell products
of inferior quality as the good one. If someone
inadvertently gives more money, instead of saying that he is
paying extra he just puts it into his pocket. This is an
awful sin. Oh my god. I am so happy that I work here. I have
no intention of getting into that business of trade again.
It was really a sinful occupation. Oh my god (laughs) now I
am repaying the kindness my teachers and doing this nice job
of good merits, I am improving my skills, in coming April
I’ll go to an canteen of vegetarian food. I already told
about it to sister Mungoo. I would like to gain some
experience there. When my teachers come back, when the
foreigners arrive I would like to prepare truly nice
vegetarian foods along with meat based dishes like soups and
fried foods. I want to be able to prepare either of these
kinds of foods nicely.(0-47 18) I am insisting to go to the
eatery as soon as possible. Otherwise, when the days are
short, I can’t work here and there simultaneously. Then of
course I have to do this work very good…most importantly
improve my skills. Keep my spirit high and pure. Wishing
every possible wellbeing to others is truly nice. Even if a
person…does wrongs to you, you must take it calmly in a
positive manner. In general, if somebody scolds you, demands
to do something this means that you were wrong, and he who
does this is doing it to remedy that wrongs. But a person
without knowing that and enters into quarrels or something
else. I think such occasions over again afterwards. Why this
person is saying this to me there must be some omissions or
something wrong on my part. So without understanding what
that the person is saying to remedy or redress you resent or
argue with him. I do sometimes display such a character. The
most important thing is for a person to understand that. So
when someone says something to me I think what I did wrong.
Aa, this was my mistake. It is very kind of that person to
point out and correct it. So you must express your thanks to
that person very nicely. I used to say thank you very much
very often. But lately, at times I started to forget to say
my thank you. When a person… says something it corrects the
mistakes and put right the wrongs. At such occasions you
must say thank you…or some other words of encouragement and
appreciation. And one should be grateful to that very
person. If you don’t do it and take the remarks as if that
person hates you or are envious of you. And defend yourself
the outcome could be disastrous. I’ll never do that. I’ll
weigh things carefully…and make conclusions regarding what I
did. Even if I was not wrong there must have been something
that the person did not like. And when you think it over
again and again what was wrong becomes clear.(laughs) If you
look at a person look and smile broadly and speak clearly,
it is completely different from throwing an angry glance.
(0-49-15) In addressing others I try to smile as broadly as
possible. Even if you are indignant…inside, if you do this
the spirit of other person you are contacting changes to the
right direction. And no matter what how bad that person may
have been he or she, there is the change for the better.
Even if you resent internally, you always address and
contact a person with smile then gradually both become good
natured and become good friends. That I know. This is the
most important thing. Aa, human being, after all …???
(0-49-47) Now my life has become very nice. It is so nice
and calm. Together with them, with our staff we were going
with smile on our faces. It is beautiful. If I were standing
at market selling and buying I am not calm at heart. One day
I am content and in smile that sold a lot of goods the next
day nothing, no earnings at all. It is what the traders
tell. But I have no worry. I come to my work prepare the
meals and feel this a beautiful day. I am really content. I
am doing a nice job in a nice warm place. When you finish
your job all the children say thank you to me. In response
of their thanks I say my children I wish you to get
excellent marks in your studies and they reply yes, we’ll
do. It is awfully optimistic and nice. When the meal is
ready we all sat and recite megzem (prayers), and when I
serve the dishes they make their offerings and also chant
books. After they finish eating those who want more receive
additional offers and they express their thanks to me. In
response I wish them to receive excellent marks in their
studies, this is really nice. When I wish them to learn more
and be good children, they try…if you take into account what
was the level of their knowledge in autumn. They now have
receive review lessons at the centre. At first when I wished
them good success they did not pay much attention but now
they seem to give some thought to it. May be they are
thinking this sister always wishes us to get excellent
marks. And it seems to me they do not simply say thank you
but are making progress in their studies. I have good
relations with the staff and with the children, there is a
warm friendly atmosphere among us. When you come to the
centre, and when you enter through the gates of the fence
??? (0-51-16) you feel completely different atmosphere. So
before entering I make a circumambulation along the path of
sun (clock wise) pray at the entrance and enter the
compound. (0-51-22) Then…afterwards when you enter the hall
of prayers it is beautiful, you truly revere. In entering
when you look at (the portrait of)Dalai bagsh…wherever you
go it would seem that the eyes of Dalai bagsh follow you. I
told about it to sister Mungoo, yesterday I told to sister
Naraa and the sister receptionist, after prayer when three
of us got up. How wonderful it is, it seems to me that
wherever I go the eyes of Dalai bagsh follow me and he is
smiling. Then they said yes, it is. They all said it looks
like that. And then the hall of prayer is distinctly
different and beautiful place. Even the energy is different.
When you enter it involuntarily and spontaneously you have
that inside feeling, feeling of reverence and veneration. A
person entering the hall of prayer never thinks of something
bad or sinister. Such a thought would never come in mind. A
person would wish only good, even more good but nothing bad.
So every morning I would pray to the Buddha. If on some day
I was too busy and can’t perform the morning rites the next
morning I make up that skip and pray. If I found that I’ll
too busy tomorrow then pray today. Now I am spiritually very
calm, I was very fat but now my weight came to normal and
feel very good, while I am praying to the Buddha.(laughs)
Being a cook I thought that probably, will gain a lot of
weight but now I am keeping my optimal weight. This is the
fruit of my prayers to the Buddha, of course I pray to
Buddha for freeing all those sufferers from their sufferings
and I am confident that Buddha is salvaging them when I
think about spirituality I feel at extreme ease. I am always
happy and feel elated. My colleagues say ah being young is
wonderful. She goes all the time with smile on her face. I
make all of them to smile, sister Badmaa, sister Mungoo,
sister Otgoo they all smile, that is why it is very nice. I
grin involuntarily, it is very nice. I don’t have any
reason…to get angry at my work. (0-53-14) At home I am also
happy. The children laugh, do their lessons, being children
they sometimes wrestle and fight. This does not matter. They
are after all children, in general, they don’t fight very
much and almost forget about it. If they rarely have some
misunderstanding with children of other households I just
draw their attention calling “hey” and they immediately stop
squabbling. We have become very calm and are now accustomed
to the peace and tranquillity. I recruited all of my younger
siblings into the religion. Only one of the young siblings
who lives at Hillock of 1000 households came once or twice.
The rest of them almost frequently attend congregations. One
of my brothers wants to go to Korea to work. He once came
here to attend the congregation of Goddess Green Tara and
spent the night, and on the second day he was hesitant
saying that he has no time to learn his lessons but when I
said you should attend the congregation of Goddess Green
Tara then he agreed. When we say scriptures it sounds very
close to us. My father was, for certain, a lama. The father
of my father was also a well-known lama in our area.
Therefore scriptures are very close to them as well. That is
why they are coming to congregations. Yeah.
Byambajav -
Who were they? Do you know … ?
Tsevelee -
I was told that my father was a well-known lama in
our area. It is written in newspaper…his name was Jugnee.
Father of mother was a man by the name of Baschuu. He was
also a renown a lama. And there were many lamas on the side
of my parents in-laws. Many of them were among those who had
been repressed. Then an elder brother of my father’s father
was an influential lama and he said to the khamba of that
monastery (what was going to happen?) ??. When the arrests
(of lamas) were taken place the father of my father was a
young child lama of 15 or 16 years old. He told us that he
remained behind sitting at the steps of the monastery
looking (how the lamas were taken away). The father of my
father before his death had hidden all his books and sutras
in mountain cliffs. My father said that at that time he was
too young, later even he looked for and searched could not
find the books. Then there was an old man called Laduu who
was an elder brother the mother of my father. He died in
eighties. It was in eighty nine, may be almost in ninety.
(0-55-20) That uncle of mine used to tell that in the year
of white horse with bloody line of halter, may be in the
year of pale white horse, in that year (сарьсан, сарьсан??)
sarisan, sarisan (could be shashin sakhiusan-meaning
religion and its guardians) will return. At that time the
big bosses of our aimag used to visit our uncle and he
performed various religious rites of the year for them.
There are people from Russian academy of sciences, those who
study Buddhist religion and Mongolia. They came to him made
recordings of my uncle, Zodov was his name. The recordings
of that uncle of mine should be there. He was also an epic
teller (story-teller and reciter). He was an elder who was
awarded with the gold medal of folk art. So when I was a
small child people used to gather in our home. In evening
after the supper he would tell his epic stories. He recited
many interesting epics and stories. Yeah. At that time I was
too small and I usually fell sleep listening to the story
telling. Since there were so many such learned people (in
our ancestry) our children also like very much the books
(scriptures). In museum there is the portrait of Zodov from
Uvs, Epic teller Dendeviin Zodov, a portrait of an old man
with white beard. He continued to recite his books and
sutras and perform rituals at the time of the revolution,
now during the socialist period. Even the bosses of the
aimag used to take him with them, he pursued his
books(scriptures). So used tell about bloody…something, in
the year of pale white what, of white horse year. And truly
that same that very (revolution)??? (0-56-44) happened. So
our people were saying that what uncle Zodov told was true.
Anyway since childhood we had contacts with Buddhist
religion. Later my father used to chant books and sutras at
home. When we were small in the beginning he did not chant
the books. But later when he recited books we wanted to
laugh (laughs), listening to that strange chanting made us
to laugh (laughs) but after a while we got
accustomed.(laughs) So when father recited Buddhist
scriptures we laughed. Our family have awfully many
daughters, eight daughters and only one son. So several
girls about my age laughed and giggled. Father’s reciting
the books for us was funny. (0-57-21) But we gradually
became attracted to the books. But at that time we laughed
at our father when he read the books. Then that uncle of
ours recited epic tales, told legends and stories…also he???
(0-57-36) performed rituals, then that Buriad…a scholar from
Russia made recordings of our uncle’s performance. He made
recordings that time he was an old man over seventy. The
scholar said: “We would take you to Russia, you will work
there in our Academy. There are many books we would like to
learn from you.” So those recordings and other items of our
uncle are in Ulan-Ude, or somewhere else, where exactly in
Russia I don’t know. My father knows very well. Rarely his
epics are broadcast by radio. He himself recites the epic
tales. Yes. There was such an uncle. Therefore, we have
learned forefathers, learned people on both sides. My
relatives on both sides tell me your only son…will become a
learned lama, including Father and mother of my husband and
my father and mother. Therefore, I intend to make my son a
lama. Then he will become a man helpful to the public. I
dream making him a learned lama just like Gevsh teacher. It
would be wonderful he would become a teacher. I believe that
he will do more merits by being a lama than pursuing a
secular life. When I tell people that when I grow old I’ll
become a holy woman, some of them tease me. They say it is
good, very good. But I do have a dream. After all I would
like to do something which is beneficial to the people,
something which is useful for the people. It is good if you
could live without regret. I believe that now I am doing
meritorious deeds. Yeah. I pray for every one.
Byambajav -
Are any other examples of people just like you, and
people whom you know very well, whose life has been changed
in this way? And who had been associated with Asral center
…?
Tsevelee -
There are many people whose life has been improved. Now …
Byambajav -
Person whom you know personally? (0-59-25)
Tsevelee -
I don’t know exactly. However, watching the children
who receive free meals you can see that livelihood of those
households who follow the path of scriptures … definitely
improves. It is evident from the appearance of the children.
The clothes they wear, the learning aids and books they use.
For example, the family of Davaabal, and there are other
children. Their clothes are completely different. There are
more of them… However, regrettably people don’t follow the
scriptures. When one follows that it is really good. Though
they receive a lot of assistance from the centre, they do
not attend the scripture lessons. I know there are those who
only consider that they should be receiving assistance.
There is a child called Shinebayar. His father and mother
are both just forty years old. Two elder sisters of him are
over twenty and there are two more daughters over ten years
old. They all do not work at all, I don’t know what kind of
life it is. They are girls with street life, this was the
path they followed. They had a very nice ger with an
addition before the entrance but their life went downward.
They never attend lessons, don’t understand and appreciate
it. Therefore they are sliding downwards. There many who
study and worship the scriptures (books). Most of them are
grand moms. A grand mom who was attending the lessons with
me, what was her name…it was Yunren. Then there was another
sister from our province. She attended the lessons
faithfully she was saying things were getting better and
better. I don’t know her name. Not knowing their names for
me they are all grand moms. The grand moms praised me that I
was good at recitals and sat together with me. Grand moms
are very active. So I befriended with them. When I started
attending the lessons I knew nothing. So I would sit aside
of them and recited looking at the book of the grand moms,
later I bought myself the book, some of them I myself copied
in handwriting, many people do that, their number is
increasing. Take the students (of institutes), there were
over thirty of them, now they number over sixty. (1-01-30)
It is amazing, many of them are attending the lessons. So I
know most of the children attending the lesson. I know them
by face but do not know by names. So whenever we meet nod to
each other and smile. However, there are many who ask what
is the use of scriptures.
Interviews, transcriptions and translations provided by The Oral History of Twentieth Century Mongolia, University of Cambridge. Please acknowledge the source of materials in any publications or presentations that use them.
